As Christmas approaches, Christians all over the world are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ with joy, with others and (where possible) with lots of food. In Matthew's gospel history of Jesus' life, as a faithful but otherwise ordinary Nazarene carpenter called Joseph is told that his fiancée, Mary, will give birth to a miraculous baby to be named Jesus, Joseph is reminded that Jesus's birth will be the fulfilment of a 600-year-old promise from God:
"Behold the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel" (which means God with
us).*
The promise and fulfilment of Christmas is the real, life-giving presence of God ("God with us") in human form among his people in the person of Jesus. It's this - God's presence with his people then and now - that is the cause of
such joy at Christmas for followers of Jesus.
Presence matters and, on an infinitely smaller level, presence is key in my practice and that of all good coaches. An early client told me
after our first session, "I've never experienced anything like that before - being listened to like that was electric."
That careful listening led to greater clarity for that client and it depended on me giving her, as best as I could, my full
presence during our sessions. While I was asking powerful questions and listening carefully to the answers, I wasn't thinking about my next meal or my next meeting or even my next question, I was focussed on being fully present with her.
This
deliberate presence - intentional and invitational without being intrusive or intense - is something I offer all of my clients, whether they team, organisational or individual. It's integral to the work I do and the value I offer, and working to
continually improve it is something I take very seriously.
The value of presence isn't just something for coaches or monks or people on silent retreats, it can be a key gift and skill for you at work and beyond.
In a world where you are so often so busy and distracted, where attention is fragmented, where your phone is buzzing in your pocket; other people are buzzing in your ears and your inbox; and your diary and to-do lists are buzzing in your head, undivided attention and presence (your own and
that of others) is a rare, precious and powerful gift. It makes an enormous difference to whatever you are doing in that moment, it transforms relationships old and new, it sustains and steadies, it enables greater clarity and effectiveness at work and beyond.**
When was the last time, you gave or received this sort of intentional, undivided presence? What difference did it or might it make? How might you cultivate it or spend more time with people or in places where you can give or receive this sort of presence?
Why not take a moment to think of someone who has provided their intentional, undivided presence to you recently or in the past, perhaps a parent, partner, grandparent, close friend, colleague, coach, mentor, teacher, therapist or complete stranger. Perhaps someone else. What made their intentional, undivided presence with you so powerful? How did it help?
The pioneering American missionary, Jim Elliot, once wrote, "Wherever you are, be all there." Intentional, undivided presence might be the best and most valuable gift you could give or receive this
Christmas. Why not see if you can practise it and/or experience it over the next couple of weeks, whether with a distant relative, a close friend or family member, a colleague or even a stranger?
Whatever your faith or belief, I hope you will enjoy some sort of break
over Christmas and it will be a time of good rest, good times with others and good food. Most of all, whether your Christmas and New Year are quiet or busy, reflective or raucous, I hope that each one of you, in the midst of it all, will be able to give and receive the gift of presence and carry something of that presence back into your work or business whenever you head back.
Next up, I'd like to thank...
