To be clear..Dwell on the done and... Turn up the tension

Published: Fri, 03/31/23

Dear ,

After a bit of a hiatus, welcome to this edition of "To Be Clear..." - a refreshing sip of regular coaching clarity in your inbox where I share a couple of brief ideas which I hope that you can apply in your work life.

Q1 is pretty much done (see below!) and, with perhaps one exception, it has been the busiest Q1 of my life to date. However it's been for you, this issue looks at two positive tools for moving forward into Q2 with greater clarity and effectiveness at work.

Consider it done

Image: Courtesy of Eden Constantino on Unsplash

My first real job was in Investment Banking and one legacy of reading and analysing so many company financial reports is that, while, like many people, I still think in academic terms/ semesters, I find myself operating in quarters - and today marks the end of Q1 '23.

There's nothing like the end of a period - be it a quarter end, end of term, fiscal or tax year end - to turns our minds to what remains to be done at work. At times like this, it's easy to become overwhelmed with our endless to-do lists - the ones in our heads, the ones on our phones, the ones in our notebooks, the ones dictated by our inboxes or colleagues, families, investors, teams, line managers and clients, the ones that assail us in the morning and the ones that wake us up in the middle of the night. And while to-do lists can be good servants, they are graceless and oppressive taskmasters - always demanding more, more, more.

So, instead of brooding over and being bossed around by your to-do lists at work, why not try the discipline of writing a Done list? As this week/ this quarter/ this term draws to a close/ take time to acknowledge the tasks you've accomplished, the steps you've taken, the thinking and planning you've done, the options you've considered, the lessons you've learned, the decisions you've made and the impact they have had on you and those with whom you work. This isn't about ticking things off an old to-do list but creating a new and separate Done list which includes things you didn't set out to do but did anyway.

If you're leading a team, a Done list could be a helpful thing to do as part of a team meeting. It's worth taking time to articulate together what's been done as a team over this past period not just as items to be crossed off so you can get on with the next thing but as tasks tackled, steps taken, lessons learned, opportunities grasped, actions achieved. This is true especially if team morale is low, you're stuck or involved in a long term or complex project; but even if everything is just ticking along, a Done list can really help a team build morale and momentum as well as insights into how they're operating so that they can work together more effectively going forward.

I say the discipline of the Done list advisedly, because many of us will be tempted to focus on what's not been done - but that's for a separate list and a different time. For now, the discipline is to focus on the Done. If you find that you keep noticing what hasn't been completed, either tell yourself, "Not relevant now," or write what you have done so far towards it (e.g. thoughts, enquiries, initial research - even to-do lists made!)

As frequent readers and users of ONION know, the second layer of ONION - Now - is all about getting clarity on your current situation and that starts with rigorously reflecting on and noting what you've already done and what you've already got. Once you've got clarity there, you move onto what you have available and then finally onto what you need.

Approaching their current challenges and opportunities using this approach from ONION has been a game-changer for many of my clients in a number of ways including improved efficiency, deeper effectiveness, increased motivation, greater momentum and heightened gratitude, the professional benefits of which we've looked at in a previous newsletter. Essentially, taking time to consider what you've done helps you to celebrate progress, learn lessons, work more sustainably and to do more of the right things with greater clarity and effectiveness at work.

So, my end of Q1 challenge for you is to make a Done list - perhaps try it weekly for the next couple of weeks or make a Q1 '23 Done List for the last 3 months and see what it uncovers and enables in you at work. I guarantee it will be a powerful and helpful change of perspective and generate fresh insights and momentum in your working life.

Whether you're doing it individually or as a team, it might help to ask questions like, "What did I/ we learn?", "What am I/ are we grateful for?", "How did/ does it feel?", "What's the impact?" and "How does it change things?"

As always, if you'd like to share how it goes, get more tips or even hear about my Q1 Done list (!), do be in touch.

Next up, following on from this much commented on issue of "To Be Clear..." on Contributing in Conflict, a vital distinction to help you to build more effective and constructive workplace relationships.

Good in-tensions

Iron sharpens iron

As we all know, so much of what makes work challenging is managing tricky relational dynamics; helping clients to do this effectively is a key part of my practice, especially as I work with teams and organisations.

At our best, we know that different viewpoints, perspectives and approaches are incredibly useful for us and for our businesses and organisations. That divergence of approach and viewpoint makes for better conversations, more effective teams and richer, more rigorous and innovative work; it's essential to better performance and results. As the biblical proverb goes, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."* However, especially when we're tired and frustrated, we just wish that everyone else would see, say and do things our way.

Or, as I say frequently to my clients (and to myself), "The best thing about other people is that they're not you and the worst thing about other people is that they're not you."

I recently came across leading organisational psychologist, Liane Davey's excellent work on conflict in teams and organisations and especially her helpful distinction between tension and friction** and I was struck by what an incredibly helpful tool it was for everybody who has to work (or just exist) alongside other people who are not them.

Tension is constructive conflict - it's what pulls a tent or guitar string taut so it can do its job properly. Tension is the helpful and healthy divergence of views, priorities and approaches that should exist in every team, organisation or collaboration. Tension is what moves things forward and helps everyone perform better. Well managed, those different approaches, viewpoints and priorities play off each other and make for improved performance and more robust, fit-for-purpose solutions and processes. Iron sharpens iron and everyone - and everything - is safer and sharper as a result.

Constructive conflict (i.e. tension) makes things better - it builds trust and improves outcomes and when we try and eliminate it at work, we lose out in big ways - we end up with homogenous teams, stale ideas and environments where people don't feel comfortable or safe to contribute key challenges or suggestions for progress and improvement. Where there's no tension, the key benefits of collaboration and the opportunities it brings to make things safer, clearer and better are squandered.

Friction, on the other hand, is the destructive conflict in which people rub each other up in negative ways with negative outcomes. It's iron clashing with iron and causing all sorts of damage in its wake. Friction at work can be loud and dramatic or it can be unspoken, it can express itself in snide asides, resentment and passive aggression or in withdrawal.***

Friction holds back teams, organisations and projects - it saps energy, joy, innovation, collaboration, performance and motivation. It's why projects and products fail and teams and businesses fall apart; it's why good people leave and toxic workplaces develop; it's why co-founder fall-out is such a major cause of failure for start-ups.

So tension is good and friction is bad, and the danger is that we are so afraid of friction that we try and tamp down any sign of tension in our professional relationships, teams and organisations.

I worked recently with a fantastic, world-class organisation to develop and deliver on a new strategy. The Senior Leadership Team are some of the best in the world at what they do. However, a wide range of approach and viewpoint had historically led to friction which was holding the organisation back. Something had to change. As I coached them (using my team coaching and mediation skillsets), I sought to surface and leverage those tensions constructively, to help them to express their honest insights and to voice their differences in productive ways, to discover shared interests and to see things from each other's point of view without abandoning their own.

The end result was unprecedented buy-in across the organisation and a radical and robust new direction and strategy that has already delivered far greater results that originally envisaged as well as a leadership team which has been much better equipped to navigate and leverage their differences going forward.

Over the next week, perhaps ask yourself, "How can I contribute more positive tension to this team, project or discussion?" or, if you're a leader, "How can I introduce more constructive tension into team meetings and discussions?" It might feel weird at first but, done graciously, intentionally and effectively, it will move things forward in constructive and exciting ways. It goes without saying that this isn't about being deliberately obnoxious or obstructive but about serving those with whom you work! Contact me if you want to know more.

As you reflect on workplace dynamics and come across friction at play, it might also be helpful to ask, "How might we be able to turn this (unproductive) friction into (constructive) tension?" Again, for more help with that, see below and/or get in touch.

I'll be in touch before long to share more ideas for greater clarity at work and to wish you a Happy Easter. In the meantime, wishing you a clearer week ahead dwelling on what's been done and filled with the kind of (constructive) conflict which makes things better.

As ever,

Ranti

* - Proverbs 27:17, the whole chapter is full of wisdom

** - Liane Davey's book The Good Fight on this topic is well worth a read if you want to know more

*** - If you're struggling with friction, this previous edition of "To Be Clear..." on Dealing with Difference or this one on Working to the Unspoken or this one on Contributing with Conflict or this one on Labelling unspoken emotions might be a help. It turns out I've written quite a bit on this topic and I'm always struck by your responses when I do.

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