Dear ,

 

 

When was the last time you received really helpful feedback that made a significant, positive difference to your work? Pause and have a think - what was it about that feedback which made it so useful for your professional practice?

When it comes to increasing in clarity and transforming your results at work, few things make a bigger difference than building a  healthy culture of feedback. Developing an effective feedback culture which drives progress and better results is  something I work on with both individual and organisational clients. Fascinatingly, when I talk to my clients about feedback, they tend to bring up (a) how much they dislike giving feedback and (b) how bad other people are at giving feedback. And, they're right - giving good feedback is tricky, it requires skill and sensitivity; gallons of ink have been spilled trying to help people do it better.

But here's the thing - the most important thing when it comes to whether feedback is effective or not is not how it's given but how it's received.

I recently delivered a workshop on giving and receiving effective feedback for a client who are, by any measure, one of the best organisations of their kind in the country and yet, not one participant had ever been previously trained or coached in how to receive feedback well.*

Learning how to receive feedback well is vital at every stage of your working life - in fact it becomes more important the more senior and/or busy you get. Because we all have blind spots, other people's perspectives and insights are essential if we are going to increase in  professional self awareness as well as our impact and effectiveness at work. The book of Proverbs in the Bible (which is all about true wisdom) puts it this way, "Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge." 

Receiving feedback effectively can be hard for all sorts of reasons - ranging from our own personal sensitivities to our relationship with the person giving it - but it is a skill that you can learn, and a skill that I have successfully coached a number of clients to grow in to great effect. When I work with clients on receiving feedback effectively, I use a framework I've developed (with many thanks to my wise ex-boss) around The Four "E"s of Receiving Feedback. It takes practice but it also transforms your practice. 

One key mindset shift is to regard all feedback, however haphazardly or poorly given, as containing potential treasure. The vessel in which it comes (the words or tone or context in which it is presented) might not be ideal, it might be surrounded by dross (the majority of it may be misjudged or off-base) but there may well be gold in there which could make a huge difference to your work or business and gold is still gold even if it's hidden under rubbish in a battered old chest.

So, think again about that last time you received truly helpful feedback at work. Perhaps it was beautifully crafted and clearly and sensitively given by someone who clearly cared about you and your progress. Or perhaps it was given in a hurry or off the cuff without much skill or sensitivity. Or perhaps it was somewhere in between.

The fact is that what ultimately made that feedback so helpful was your response. The feedback made a difference because you embraced it, you recognised the other person's perspective on your practice (however clumsily expressed) for the gift it was, you took it onboard, reflected on it, decided to act on it and then you (and those you work with) reaped the benefits.

More on this in future newsletters but, in the meantime, a couple of questions you might helpfully ask yourself over the next couple of weeks. "How good am I at (inviting) and receiving feedback?" and, if the answer is (as it is for most of us) "Not so good!", think about what makes it so hard for you and then ask "How could I be better at receiving feedback?"  As always, try and be specific in your answers.

Courier Media - a great client of mine - recently published an excellent article on decision fatigue and how overwhelming it can be, especially for founders and small business owners, to prioritise the huge number of decisions which come their way. It's something I come across with all my clients - founders and employees, individual and organisational - and maybe something you have struggled with as well. 

Decision fatigue is especially prevalent when it comes to change. Often, there are a number of things that we would like to change in our work - and perhaps even in our wider life, competing change projects that hover at the edges of our headspace before coming into sharper, panicky focus from time to time.

We know we can't tackle them all at once but it's tricky to work out which ones need tackling as a priority. Our changing context and circumstances often shape what feels urgent at any given moment which means that we're in danger of prioritising the urgent above the important. How can we decide which changes might helpfully benefit from our attention now and what can wait?

Yesterday, I had a great exploratory conversation with a potential new client who is a couple of years into a leadership role in a very new organisation working in a fast-changing environment. Once I had a sense of his context and desired Outcomes, I asked, "What's at stake if nothing changes here in the next six months?"  He paused, had a think and then gave me an answer of such honesty and thoughtfulness that I found myself very much wanting to work with him.

As you assess the competing change projects in your professional (and perhaps personal) life, that question might be a helpful one. Perhaps take a few minutes, write down the list of all the things you'd like to make progress on which are currently jostling for your headspace and then ask of each one of them, "What's at stake if nothing changes here in the next [insert your timeframe]?" And then give and listen to your honest answers.

In some cases, the honest answer might be "Not much." At which point, you can breathe a sigh of relief and move them down the list. In others, the  seriousness of the answer might surprise you and you might want to expedite things or make a clear plan for change perhaps using a tool like ONION or seeking the help of a coach or other professional. Either way, that question - "What's at stake if nothing changes here?" - will give you increased clarity and help you to more effectively prioritise what matters.

Speaking of change, I mentioned in the Christmas edition of "To Be Clear..." that I'm working on some projects this year with which I'd really value your help and insights. Look out for an upcoming special edition of "To Be Clear..." for more on this.

In the meantime, do be in touch with any feedback or thoughts, especially on the topic of receiving feedback. Hearing about what you're doing with what you're reading is always a joy.